After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
