I can tuck mytits in my pants
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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