summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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