someone threw a dead crab at me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
