hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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