Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
