i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
