margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
