That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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