He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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