I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
