Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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