Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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