Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
