we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
