i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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