we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
