we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
