Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
where are my eyebrows?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
