handjob tips. give me some.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
