Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
