Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
