I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
