Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
