i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
