i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
