how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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