I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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