I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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