Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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