Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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