you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
