Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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