whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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