That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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