so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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