u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I came so hard my ears popped.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
