Got a toothbrush?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
