You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
