i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
