theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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