It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize