well you can't waste a boner
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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