We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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