FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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