Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize