I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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