Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
