can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
