omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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