Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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