Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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