I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
