dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
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blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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