ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day â¤ï¸
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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