i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
