I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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